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VMware Go Pro: Enabling IT Geeks to Automate Patch Management Updates, Pre-Order Assassin’s Creed and One-Up Their Friends All in the Same Day

By Andy the Angry IT Guy

Editor’s note: This is the twelfth in a series of posts we’ll be running from “Andy,” an anonymous IT administrator working for a mid-sized organization located somewhere in the American Midwest. In his previous post, Andy shared (over-shared?) intimate details from his diary and discussed how VMware Go Pro has helped him overcome virtualization hurdles.

Today, Andy returns after a lengthy absence to share a conversation he recently had with his old friend Pratik. In between geeking out over the pending release of “Assassin’s Creed 3,” Andy and Pratik compare notes on the respective tools they’re using to manage their IT infrastructure. Andy is of course using VMware Go Pro, while Pratik is using a similar tool from another well-known software company, to less successful results…


I’m back, folks.

(This is the part where you pause to say, “Oh, thank God Andy’s back! We’ve missed him so since he last posted over two months ago! Our lives weren’t the same!”)

Or not. I get it—it was weird to share my private manjournal (Ed. note – he means “diary”) with the Internet. I’ve since received more than a couple of messages that have compared my narrative in that post to, among other things, “a rejected script for the MTV 1990’s melodrama My So Called Life” and “song lyrics that even Nickelback would hate.”

Don’t worry, I’ll stop showing any tangible signs of happiness here (my therapist is going to hate this), since that’s what you people seem to want. But I digress.

I had an interesting conversation with my old friend Pratik earlier and thought I’d share it here. We were comparing notes on the tools we use to manage our respective IT infrastructures (as you may recall, Pratik used to work with me but now manages IT for a different anonymous mid-sized organization). I use VMware Go Pro, of course; Pratik uses a similar, but-inferior-in-my-esteemed-opinion, tool that comes from that large software company from the Pacific Northwest that produced all of those goofy cloud commercials last year. You know who I’m referring to…

Andy_from_Alderaan: hey pratik

HaxerPrat1k: hey andy

Andy_from_Alderaan: sup?

HaxerPrat1k: just got back from gamestop, tried to preorder a copy of assassins creed, but the first load is already sold out… ridiculous!!!11!!1!!

Andy_from_Alderaan: its going to be an epic game. just read kotakus review. luckily for both of us, i was able to preorder mine last week.

HaxerPrat1k: ugh, i had no time last week… i spent most of my free time building patch updates for upcoming adobe and mozilla releases. such a pain in the butt.

Andy_from_Alderaan: seriously? you had to build ur own patch?

HaxerPrat1k: i mean, yeah. but I get ready-made patch updates for windows, so it evens out.

Andy_from_Alderaan: how is that evening out? building patch updates for any app is about as fun as waxing your upper lip.

HaxerPrat1k: do you wax your upper lip, andy?


Andy_from_Alderaan: anyway, im just saying it’s a waste of time for u to have to build any patch updates urself. i have vmware go pro, and it provides ready-made updates for both windows and 3rd party apps. not only that, but it also gives me automated alerts when a patch update is coming up, so i dont have to waste my time trolling google to find out when the next chrome update comes out.

Andy_from_Alderaan: instead I can focus my time on more important things, such as preordering assassins creed 3.

HaxerPrat1k: what a low blow.

Andy_from_Alderaan: here’s one more: im about to get a raise because my companys IT infrastructure is now 100% virtual and there havent been any performance issues. and more importantly, the final price tag was a lot less than we initially projected…

HaxerPrat1k: dam homie, howd u pull that off?

Andy_from_Alderaan: as far as my boss is concerned – it was my own personal genius…

Andy_from_Alderaan: really though, its the fact that vmware go pro makes it super easy to onboard your infrastructure to virtualization. there were a bunch of wizards that walked me through it step by step, so that i actually looked like i knew what I was doing.

Andy_from_Alderaan: and it also allowed me to configure my servers and actually control them from a centralized console

HaxerPrat1k: i can do that too. theoretically, at least. apparently i need to purchase an add-on pack, which sounds like it could be pretty helpful.

HaxerPrat1k: unfortunately, my boss is giving me zero leeway in terms of budget for the rest of the year. so i guess ill just have to stick it out.

Andy_from_Alderaan: so i guess i win.

HaxerPrat1k: whatever andy. at least i dont wax my upper lip.

Andy_from_Alderaan: you are officially uninvited from my assassins creed 3 release party later this month.

HaxerPrat1k: so itll be just u then?

Andy_from_Alderaan: fine. u can come. but admit im better than managing IT than u are

HaxerPrat1k: i admit that vmware go pro is better at managing IT than i am.

Andy_from_Alderaan: fair enough. gotta go – DUNE just came on spike tv.

HaxerPrat1k: cya


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